I took the quote above from, “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Dr Spencer Johnson, what a short, powerful story, for me this quote is quite relevant as to why I took so long to be willing to embrace the change of wearing hearing aids. I was born hard of hearing and did wear them up until age 7 or 8, but then refused to wear them until I was 27 years old. I had to let go of my old rigid mindset and belief, (old cheese) and then was able to discover an incredible new world of experiences, (new cheese).

I noticed that it was not only me that struggled to accept wearing hearing aids. I have met others that also took a long time to admit that they needed to invest in them and only few managed to go through with the change.

I quote from this article – Embracing Change: The Science Behind Why It's Hard and How to Navigate It.

“The Neuroscience of Resistance Our brains are intricate landscapes, wired to favour the familiar. Neuroscience reveals that the amygdala, the brain's threat centre, interprets change as a potential danger. This triggers the release of stress hormones, culminating in feelings of discomfort and anxiety. Acknowledging this primal response is the first step towards understanding why change can feel like an uphill battle.”

I have to say that I can totally relate to this, the minute I put those hearing aids on at age 27, my entire world was completely unfamiliar! Les at Hearing Devices ZA, did tell me to consistently expose myself to the new sounds, so that they would become the new familiar.

It was not easy going, I suddenly could hear how noisy the fridge was, washing dishes was horrible, as I had underdeveloped motor control to put dishes down softly, I asked my husband how did he manage to live with me like that? As I could not bear how heavily I clanked a dish down onto the counter, it was agonisingly loud! We had a good chuckle and smile around that one and I avoided doing dishes at that time. Even how I heard music changed, I thought there was a distortion of the speakers, I had to give up listening to music for about a month as my brain adjusted to the change and learnt how to filter all the new sounds correctly.

I would get to the end of the day and feel utterly relieved to take the hearing aids out, to feel the quiet familiarity that I had before, it was exhausting and exceptionally draining experiencing so many new sounds within one second of putting the hearing aids on. I totally understood why people chose to not make the change, there was so much to adjust to and so much I had to take away until my brain learnt to rewire itself.

“Our brain makes strong connections based on repetitive thoughts and actions in order to expend less energy. When you decide to change a deeply ingrained habit the body more or less freaks out.” “Our brains form neural connections which become stronger and stronger with repetition.” - Why change is so damn hard, according to science

After wearing the hearing aids consistently and gently exposing myself repetitively to different environments, my brain managed to form new neural connections and became stronger and faster at filtering and organising the different cacophony of sounds. In the beginning I would go to a coffee shop in a quiet time and could only be there for around fifteen minutes, otherwise it just all became too overwhelming. I dedicated going to the same shop at the same time several times and it didn’t take as long as one might think it would, but each new experience was intense and the more I just put myself into stimulating environments, the stronger the neural connections became.

It’s the same as learning a new technique, a musical instrument, or training at the gym, embracing a new exercise regime, they all require repetition to build those new neural networks. And, that fact does not make it any easier, as the quote says our body freaks out if we try to change a deeply ingrained habit or try to embrace a new habit.

I remember my early days of learning my NeuroKinetic Therapy work and how I would be in an emotional heap on the floor, flooding it with tears, frustrated, saying to my husband that I am never going to get this right and he patiently asked me, how long have you been using NKT? And I said one month and then he said, how long has the founder David been using the technique and I blurted out, I don’t know like twenty years or something.

It brought some common sense; how could I expect to know everything in one month of learning the technique. I had to practice and repeat and repeat, for it to become easier and easier. It may be hard to begin, but we certainly can embrace change and growth if we keep at it.

In a book called “Atomic Habits” by James Clear, he talks about how best to create your habits to bring about the desired change and he says –

“We are more likely to repeat a behaviour when the experience is satisfying.”

“The cardinal rule of behaviour change: What is immediately rewarded is repeated. What is immediately punished is avoided.”

Going back to embracing the change of hearing aids, it was quite challenging to find or have a satisfying experience as it is such a drastic change and I remember one man say to me that he couldn’t even listen to music, so what was the point in that. I find that I had to discover little satisfactions along the way, I was able to hear so many bird sounds for the first time, there were a lot of what is that sound questions, I also heard Cicadas for the first time, they weren’t a satisfying sound but certainly fascinating.

As I persisted, the satisfaction of the hearing aids became more noticeable, I began not wanting to listen to music unless I had the hearing aids in, the sound quality was just so much better. I wore them more around the house because it became more satisfying not having to ask my husband to repeat himself if I was in another room. It became more satisfying to not be so mentally exhausted in a one-on-one conversation or a group, as I no longer needed to focus so hard on what was being said. And it has now changed and grown to be more satisfying to experience life with hearing aids than not.

In my experience sometimes those satisfactions need time to develop, but along the whole journey, I certainly tended towards rewards rather than punish and slave myself through the experience. In the beginning, I gave myself the satisfactions of having a break from all the sounds, often in between seeing my clients in the quiet car I would remove the hearing aids and savour the blissful peace of quiet, this reward allowed me to get through the days without tipping into overwhelm. And overtime the wheel turned, the quiet times were less and less needed, I was desiring the stimulating sounds of the hearing aids more.

it is fascinating because even in my work with NeuroKinetic Therapy and correction of dysfunctional movement patterns, we say the brain will always take the path of least resistance. Subconsciously our brain is driving for satisfaction and reward, away from dissatisfaction.

Just that simple mechanism makes it challenging to embrace the change and growth of learning a new technique or exercise regime. But in both my posture therapy and NKT training the more I repeated them the more rewarding they became.

I found if I took it up to a satisfactory point and didn’t push too far or hard beyond that, I could manage tipping the scale into overwhelm. I had change and growth like with the hearing aids, consistently using NKT or doing my corrective exercise techniques became more satisfying than not having them in my life.

In the early days with NKT manual muscle testing of my clients for Movement dysfunctions and pain management, I was only able to do five to ten minutes of the protocol before I got myself lost and confused and at that point, I would inform my client that we will tackle it again in the next session and go back to what I competently knew. I found my clients were very understanding and I made sure not hover long trying to figure something out, wasting their time and money but being able to consistently practice and repeat the technique, I was able to get the desired satisfaction of neuromuscular re-education for both my client and me.

Understand and know that it is going to take time and that’s okay.

Be consistent, practice and repetition.

Know your window of tolerance so that you can stop before you hit into overwhelm. Once in overwhelm, you lose your capacity to rationalise.

Cheer yourself on, try to surround yourself, or find the support of others that believe in you until you believe in yourself.

Remind yourself that the scale does have a tipping point to becoming easier and more rewarding.

Who Moved My Cheese by Dr Spencer Johnson

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Understanding your window of tolerance

Hypo arousal versus Hyperarousal – this is understanding the two different reactions when we experience stress.

There are many more readings out there and ways to embrace change and growth, these are the ones that have stood out for me and allowed me to understand how I have come through with the challenges and from here forth to embrace the process of change and growth more consciously.

May this article inspire you and I want you to know that I believe we are all capable of embracing change and growth, it may not always seem believable but the more I have understood the reaction that change creates and overcome those hurdles, the more I believe that change is possible.

Don’t forget that we all have our own unique individuality and I encourage you to discover and embrace your unique way of change and growth.

Ayla Caldwell - Motivational Speaker, Posture Therapist, NeuroKinetic Therapist, NKT Therapy Training (South Africa)

www.aylacaldwell.com

info@aylacaldwell.com

Individuality, Empowerment, Self-Healing